Vision In Affliction

Church of God missionary Neil Lawrence tells of his recent bout with vision loss while serving in Kenya.

On August 6, during our 154th Gospel Meeting I woke up in the cab of the truck with my vision having turned milky white. During the next three days the milkiness turned mostly black, as if it were night with no lights around. I was with our Gospel Team, Eagles’ Wings, boosting the Hima Church of God in western Uganda. Though my eyes were aching, I went ahead and taught a seminar in the church and preached outdoors where 100 people were saved. After the meeting ended, the Team broke down the equipment while I traveled south to an old Anglican hospital to have my eyes checked. They were not able to diagnose the problem. We made the 2-day journey back to Eldoret. For the first time ever, I could not drive the truck. Francis, our technician, had to. I coached him while I was seated in the passenger seat basically blind. By the time I arrived at the Eldoret hospital, Jennifer led me by the hand into the doctor’s office where he confirmed I was below “legally blind.” Two days later while in the hospital, my vision digressed to PL (perception of light without accurate projection), one small step away from total blackout. God Speaks in the Midst of Darkness. If I was not convinced that the Lord is sovereign, that Jesus is standing next to me always, and that His purposes are being accomplished in me and my family, then I would be full of despair. But God has spoken in the midst of this affliction of darkness. When I first woke up blind far from home, fear began to grip me. I immediately asked God to heal me, and bound the enemy’s work against me. I thought, “How ironic. I have been assigned to speak on The Recovery of Vision for the Church’ at the Kenya Church of God National Convention in two weeks and now this?” Then the Lord spoke to me, “This affliction is your ‘stepping stone’ to the next level of ministry you have been praying about for years.” During my first night in the hospital, fear again began to surround me. Jennifer was also greatly distressed and could not sleep at home. But God began to speak to her so many things that she had to write them down. The Lord said: 1. “Tell Neil he is not a victim, but a victor.” 2. “Neil needs to literally speak peace to his fears.” 3. “Neil will recover enough of his sight to be able to speak on ‘vision’ at the National Convention.” 4. “Waiting upon the Lord is not passive, but an active process.” She called me at 4:00 a.m. and told me what the Lord had said. When she hung up, I immediately prayed out loud and grasped hold of these words from the Lord. The fears disappeared and God reminded me of the scripture Jesus quoted when He began His ministry, “…the Lord has anointed me to preach the good news…and the recovery of sight to the blind,” (Luke 4:16). Over the next 17 nights, the Lord would wake me, stir my spirit, and give me the message on vision. Jennifer helped me type it and put it on Power Point. I delivered the message and ministered with Eagles’ Wings at the National Convention. Even though I was still physically blind, my spiritual sight was alive. Medical Condition: After the convention was over, my vision started to darken, so we returned to the States for better testing. After one month in Kenya and two months in the States, my vision seems to have plateaued at 15/200. I have been diagnosed with “optic neuritis,” which is inflammation of the optic nerve. Most cases are reported in women, and is caused by an auto-immune disorder such as MS (multiple sclerosis). Many times, as in mine, the cause is unknown. Ninety percent of the time it affects only one eye, but my case is again atypical because I am equally impaired in both eyes. For the last 90 days I have only seen in shades of black. I see no color. I can see objects up close and somewhat in the distance, though not with clarity. I can only see very large letters on the computer. Vision of 15/200 means that what a person with normal vision can see at 200 feet, I can only see at 15 feet. In typical cases, people can recover much of their sight within 3-11 weeks as the inflammation reduces. Some vision can still be recovered six months, or even up to 12 months after an episode. Medically speaking, there is a correlation between how much vision is lost and to what extent the vision can recover. My loss was very severe. Hope for the Future: My trust is not in medical experts, but in “The Great Physician.” The Bible says, “The Lord sees in darkness,” (Psalm 139). The Lord speaks to us in our darkest moments. He who is Light never ceases to shine. We are waiting for complete healing of my eyesight. And even if it doesn’t come soon, we are planning to return to Kenya in the new year to continue leading many blind into the light of the Gospel. We are extremely grateful to the church in Kenya, the States, and other parts of the world who have supported and encouraged us during this affliction.

Neil and Jennifer Lawrence

Missionaries to Kenya

Project Number 060-0064